It hurts to breathe....

My stomach hurts, my hands are shaking and all I want to do is cry. I miss my husband and the life we had together. I don't want to do it all alone. I keep telling my children that we will never "move on" yet we will "go on" and continue to carry Ben in our hearts. He died for our freedoms and way of life so we should live life to the fullest and honor his sacrifice. Today, however, I just want to run away.