On Monday morning bright and early at 0800, my children and I reported to the DEERS / Rapids office to get our new IDs. It was a rather quick and easy process. The young Marine that was helping us said few words after I presented him with my ID, and the dreaded DD 1300. But then again, what is there to say? My children and I efficiently filled up the empty airspace with grief humor which always goes over well in all situations. We are never at a loss for words! The Marine worked diligently and soon after presented us with our new IDs. We are now card carrying members of the “DEC” club. It is pretty sobering to say the least. I have to say though at least my children still retain “child” status in relationship to their father. I’m stuck with “DB.” I am now a beneficiary. I get that I am no longer married and so therefore not a spouse, wife or ever a dependent but it just sorta sucks.
On Tuesday morning I encountered a spouse who was very vocal about her feelings of why a service member would willingly go to Afghanistan. According to her views, a service member would only go for the money. She stated that if a service member would have a choice to go or stay home with family, the decision would only be made to go because of the increase in pay. I stood and listened, all the while biting the inside of my lip and digging my nails into my arm in order to keep it together. Honor, courage, commitment, service to Corps and County…..I guess that never crossed her mind. Anyway, that just sucked.
On Wednesday, I mistakenly deleted the answering machines not at home message that Ben made. I will no longer be able to hear his voice. As soon as I realized my mistake, my chest tightened up, I found it hard to breath and I sobbed. I am glad that no one was home to witness me or what I had done because it really, really sucks…..
